How it works, step by step
The path is short and it is bounded. Every stage has a maximum duration, a number of messages or a deadline: nothing stays open indefinitely, and nobody waits for an answer that will never come.
1. The profile
Around sixty fields: religious practice, family situation, lifestyle, values, plans, expectations. It takes time, and that is deliberate. A vague profile attracts vague requests and wastes both people’s time.
Every question that has a list of answers can be marked "Secret", as can your height and weight: the answer stays visible to you and disappears for other members. The data European law protects more than the rest — religious practice, health, origins — is first in line.
The main photo can stay blurred. Other photos are visible only inside an active conversation, once the team has reviewed them.
2. The wali, for women
A woman appoints her wali during sign-up or later. She enters his phone number; he receives an invitation, creates his account and accepts the mandate.
Without a confirmed wali she can browse profiles, save favourites and receive requests. Messaging stays locked. Naming a substitute from the start avoids a deadlock if the first stops answering.
3. The search
Filters on practice, city, age, family situation, life plans. No compatibility score, no computed ranking: results are not sorted by a machine claiming to know who you ought to talk to.
Three moves are possible from a profile: save it, signal a discreet interest, or send a request. The discreet interest leaks through no channel — no notification, no counter, no hint in any list.
4. The request
A request expires after seven days without an answer, with two reminders in between. Ten pending requests at most: beyond that, you wait for one to resolve.
When the request is addressed to a woman, her wali is asked to review it. He gives a reasoned opinion — the reason is mandatory and it is passed on. He is chased after one day, three days and five days.
5. Discovery: fifteen messages each
The conversation opens. Each of you has fifteen messages, not one more, and the counter is visible on both sides at all times. Three messages from the end, a reminder warns that the decision is coming.
The wali reads nothing during this phase and cannot end it. Exchanging phone numbers, addresses and social handles is blocked: the message is not delivered, it does not count against the quota, and an explanation appears. If it happens again the sanction escalates.
Five active conversations at most, at any one time. With no conclusion after seven days, the exchange closes on its own, without comment and without blame.
6. The decision
Once the second participant has sent their fifteenth message, each of you answers one question separately: do you want to continue? Both answers are collected before either is revealed, so that neither influences the other.
Two yeses: the wali joins the conversation. One no: the exchange closes, without the other learning who declined. In that case the same pair cannot make contact again for a month, in either direction — which is what stops persistence dressed up as a fresh request.
7. The wali joins
From then on he reads the whole conversation, he can write, and he can close it. It is also the point at which contact details may be exchanged — with him present, which is the whole purpose.
What follows happens off the platform: the families talk, and there is not much left to do here. That is the intended outcome.
And afterwards
A closed conversation stays readable, then its messages are deleted after twelve months, without you having to ask. An account whose deletion has been requested disappears for good thirty days later — the delay exists so that a decision taken on a discouraging evening can be undone.
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